Going to school in the city

IMG_2261 G and M on Angel IslandGabriella and Max go to different schools, but they’re both in the heart of the city. I heard this conversation between them recently.

Max: I get a bit worried scooting around the house. I don’t know what my scooter wheels have been through in the city. I have to go through a pretty gritty part of town to get to school.

Gabriella: Pah! You should try Haight Ashbury. I do know what I’m walking through and I wish I didn’t. There are so many stoners in the Haight that I know I’m walking through human excrement. At any given time, half the pavements need power-washing.

Max: Well, at least you only have the people taking drugs in the Haight. I have to walk through the area where they sell drugs too.  And after they’ve power-washed Market St, – with soap – there’s still questionable gunk on the pavements.

Gabriella: Yeah, well I frequently have to step over people who’ve passed out on the street.

Max: I often have to scoot around people who’ve passed out on the street.

Gabriella: Yesterday Jordan and I stepped over a naked man who’d passed out across the width of the pavement. But that’s not the weird part. The weird part is that we didn’t bat an eyelid as we did it. We slowed down to make sure we didn’t step on any part of his naked body, but we carried on talking because it wasn’t unusual. When I walked out later in the day, they’d power-washed that section of the pavement.

Max: With soap?

The conversation reminded me of the wonderful one-upmanship in Monty Pyton’s Four Yorkshiremen sketch, in which each man’s claims of childhood hardship become increasingly exaggerated.

But Gabriella and Max weren’t exaggerating.

About Natalie Gotts

I've been a management consultant, a nutritional therapist, a Journey practitioner and a mother. I've sold ostriches in China and personal safety devices in Hong Kong. Whatever I've done, and wherever I've been, I've written about it.
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4 Responses to Going to school in the city

  1. Rebecca Winant says:

    Love it nats, love the comparison too. Very funny xxxx

  2. Fiona L says:

    Oh the joys of growing up !!
    Well I say at least the clean the pavements try living in Haslemere !!

  3. Natalie Gotts says:

    You couldn’t make this stuff up!

  4. Eileen Winant says:

    We laughed so much – thank you

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